


Stay

by Rubadubababyoil



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Caring Brian, Crying, Early Queen (Band), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Freddie-centric, Insecurity, Loneliness, M/M, Nightmares, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:32:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24550867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rubadubababyoil/pseuds/Rubadubababyoil
Summary: Freddie always despised being alone, ever since he was sent away to boarding school. So when the boys all decide it's time to move out, Freddie does not take it well, and he misses Brian most of all.
Relationships: Brian May/Freddie Mercury
Comments: 46
Kudos: 111
Collections: Freddie Mercury Weekend 2020!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Out of all of the lovely prompts for Freddie Mercury Weekend 2020, the one about Freddie not being able to handle being alone struck me the most--maybe because I can relate! Plus, I just wanted to write someone taking care of poor Fred :(

Freddie never thought he’d think this, but he regretted that Queen was making real money now.

When he and the band were quite literally starving artists, they moved in together to save money. They were the bitchiest band in the world and didn’t always get along, but at the end of the day, Freddie loved living with them. They were his new family, and he found peace in hearing the sounds of the others going about their lives in the small flat. He liked sharing meals and drinks and bickering over who was going to do the chores. He liked coming home to company, or knowing that someone was going to come home soon. He loved sharing a bedroom with Brian most of all. When they were deciding how they were going to divide the two bedrooms, Freddie oh-so casually mentioned he wouldn’t mind sharing with Brian, and mentally did a little jump for joy when he agreed.

Freddie’s heart swelled every night at the sight of Brian in pajamas and with towel-fluffed hair, and nothing was better than seeing him awaken with stubble on his jaw, his curls wild and in his face, and his face soft as he shuffled out of their room with half-opened eyes and sleepy hums at morning greetings. Brian was a late riser, but Freddie was partly to blame for that. Sometimes, they would stay up late at night talking about everything and nothing, their hushed voices carrying into the early hours of the morning. He felt a little bad about keeping him up sometimes, but he couldn’t help it. They just had such nice conversations. It was wonderful, really, sharing a bedroom with someone he loved. Sure, Freddie’s heart panged sometimes with pining, because being in love with one of his best friends was made harder by this close proximity, but Freddie didn’t want to give this up. He would deal with years of heartache if it meant he had a comforting presence when he went to sleep every night, even if they didn’t share beds. The companionship was worth the pain in his chest whenever he felt sad that he couldn’t just climb into Brian’s bed and curl up into his arms.

But then, Queen started to actually make money, and living together wasn’t necessary anymore. John was the first one to move out. It made sense, considering he was entering a serious relationship with Veronica, but Freddie was still a little sad to see him go. He came along a year after Queen formed, though, so Freddie had experienced more time without living with John than not. Not long after, Roger said he was thinking of moving out, and Brian dropped a bomb and said he’d been thinking the same. Freddie had to push down the sudden sharp pain in his chest, and lie through his teeth that, yes, he was thinking about it, as well, and thought it was a good idea.

“We’re starting to make it now, yeah?” Roger had smiled.

Freddie put on his most convincing smile and nodded. “Yes, we are,” he said. In reality, it felt like his world was crumbling apart. How was he going to go from living with two of his best friends to living alone in an instant? He was 27 and never actually lived on his own before, and didn’t fancy ever doing it, if he could help it--but it looked like he couldn’t help it anymore. He couldn’t tell them not to leave him, because Freddie never wanted to hold his friends back, nor did he enjoy admitting to such vulnerability. No, he would have to sit there and swallow the painful lump in his throat as Roger and Brian discussed moving. Time to grow up, he supposed, although he wondered why being lonely in a flat was considered the adult thing to do. Seemed like a load of bollocks to him.

It was tough sharing a room with Brian the night they all agreed to move out, because Freddie had to cry as quietly as he could. He was an expert at this, though. He’d spent so many nights crying himself to sleep in his bed in India, feeling terribly alone and abandoned by his parents. It was normal for boys to cry when first arriving at boarding school, but most of them got over it rather quickly. Freddie never really did, and he learned to cry silently under the blankets to avoid waking his roommates and drawing their ire. He did the same now. His shoulders shook and he cried into his hands under the covers as Brian was dead to the world in the bed across from his, snoring softly and oblivious to Freddie’s pain. Freddie cried so much that he didn’t sleep at all and left his throat raw, and he lied the next day and said he hadn’t slept because he was so excited about finding his own place. The words of the lie were bitter on his tongue as they passed through his lips.

He kept it all to himself, never once telling Roger and Brian that he loathed being alone during the entire flat-finding and moving process, nor did he confess his romantic feelings. He loved Brian so much, but feared losing his friendship and disrupting the band. His heart always caused him grief, but he wasn’t going to let it ruin Queen. Besides, by now, Queen was the only thing keeping him connected to his best friends, and he didn’t want to lose that, too.

And so Freddie reluctantly moved into a small flat of his own. He got two cats who he adored instantly. They were great company, but they still weren’t human, and they didn’t stop him from soaking his pillowcase with tears on more nights than not. The worst was the first week of living on his own, admittedly, because he found that he couldn’t actually get to sleep without the sound of Brian’s snoring or sleepy, nonsensical mumbles. He didn’t think Brian knew he did either of these things, but Freddie would hold back giggles when he mumbled astronomy terms in his sleep. (Once in a blue moon, he would mumble Freddie’s name, and his heart would skyrocket.)

Freddie had growled in anger into his pillow, because maybe he didn’t realize  _ just  _ how hung up he was over Brian until now. He was a pathetic, sorry excuse for a grown man, not being able to sleep alone. He hated himself, and more hot tears rolled down his face and dripped onto his pillow.

“Are you all right?” Brian had asked in concern the next day in the recording studio.

_ No. _ “Just tired, dear,” Freddie had smiled weakly. “Not sleeping well.”

“Is your new place not working out?” he asked with a crinkle in between his eyebrows.

_ No, again. _ “It’s not that. I simply have to get used to my surroundings.” That was all he could say, because  _ I miss your snoring and sleep talking, which shouldn’t be cute but it is, _ was a completely unacceptable response. Thankfully, Brian dropped the subject after that and told him to try getting more rest. The kind bastard.

The slight pain he dealt with while living with the love of his life was nothing compared to the gnawing hollowness in his chest now that they were apart.

In short, Freddie was alone, and he was not coping well.

* * *

Music did distract him to a certain extent, and before he knew it, it was time to go on tour. It was three months after they all properly settled into their new places when the four of them were semi-living on tour buses and hotel rooms again, but even this was different now. They’d had to share hotel rooms on their first tour, but this time, John worked out the finances so they each got their own room.

“The rooms are on the small side,” John said. “But at least we’ve got them to ourselves, right?”

_ No!  _ Freddie’s mind screamed. “You smart little cookie, playing around with our money just so.” It intended to be playful, but his tone sounded a little biting.

John didn’t notice, though, and he handed a key to him. “Here you are.”

Freddie took it and tried not to look as disappointed as he felt. What made it worse was that touring was stressful enough as it was. He lived for performing, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed being in hotel rooms and on such a tight schedule, or that his struggles with his anxiety were gone. This only added stress on top of everything else.

He entered his room, and his shoulders drooped at how barren it was. There was a single twin bed in the middle of the room, a bedside table with a lamp, a small chair in the corner, and a dresser with a little television on top. The bathroom was small, too. Freddie found that living in dingy hotel rooms was only bearable with someone else with him. He felt like a child when tears welled up in his eyes. He roughly wiped them away. What was  _ wrong  _ with him?

As he unpacked in his room, he took deep, steadying breaths. He would simply have to deal with it. He wasn’t going to allow any of this to interfere with his performances. He needed to sleep well and stop feeling like his chest was going to constrict at the thought of having no one there with him at night. He was an adult. He was Freddie Mercury. He could do this.

* * *

On the third night, Freddie’s voice began to get strained at the end of their concert tonight, but it was so early in their tour! His voice couldn’t give out now. He was filled with panic on the bus ride back to the hotel. His voice had to recover (dear god, he hoped he wasn’t getting sick!). Maybe stress was just getting to him. Tonight, he didn’t want to do anything but go straight back to his room and rest his throat. 

However, the thought of going back to that dingy, shitty little room made his heart sink.

Freddie noticed Brian staring at him from across the aisle. He blinked out of his miserable stupor. “What?”

“You all right?” he asked. 

“What do you think?” he asked with a moody pout. “It’s only night three and look what’s happened to my voice.”

“It was really fine, Freddie,” Brian said patiently. “It’ll probably be good as new tomorrow.”

“He’s right,” Roger said, walking over to them and leaning his elbow on the back of Brian’s seat. “You’re overthinking it.”

Freddie wanted to argue and be a brat, but raising his voice probably wasn’t a good idea, so he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed, ignoring the look Brian and Roger shared.

Freddie felt miserable and he slammed the door to his hotel room shut. He told himself not to cry as he showered and changed into pajamas. He was nearing 30. He had to stop acting like the small, lonely child he was in India. His friends were on the same floor. That wasn’t actually far away, no matter what the clawing at his heart told him.

He turned off the lamp and looked at the small bed. He wished Brian were here. He shook his head roughly and got into bed, hating himself.

* * *

He had a nightmare. He was a child again and his parents were hugging him goodbye. He tried to speak.  _ “No, I don’t wanna go,”  _ he tried to say, but the words didn’t come out, and his parents merely smiled and waved. The environment morphed around them to the boarding school. 

_ “No!”  _ Freddie told them, but even in his dreams, they wouldn’t listen.  _ “No,”  _ he begged again, his voice in the dream reaching them, but only faintly. 

They didn’t react.

_ “I’m just a kid!”  _ he snapped at them.  _ “How could you send me away?” _

His parents then changed into a couple of schoolmates, in the nonsensical way dreams function.

_ “Ugh, what a baby,”  _ one of them sneered.  _ “Are you gonna cry every night?” _

_ “Shut up, Bucky!”  _ the other glared at him.  _ “We’re trying to sleep over here!” _

In the dream, Freddie was crying.  _ “I want to go home,”  _ he sniffled.

_ “God, what a mess you are.” _

That voice was different, but very familiar. Dream Freddie turned around slowly, and there was Brian, standing in his boarding school. 

His face was a picture of contempt.  _ “I didn’t know what a freak you were,”  _ he said coldly.  _ “I’m glad I moved away.” _

_ “Brian, please—”  _ he reached out a hand.

He stepped back.  _ “Our great, confident frontman, huh? What a lie.”  _ His eyes were piercing.  _ “Why would I ever want you?” _

Freddie bolted upright in the bed with a gasp, his skin broken out in a cold sweat. He didn’t recognize his surroundings at first, and he grabbed the cord on the lamp blindly, his heart pounding in his throat so hard that he could gag. The light came on, and he remembered where he was. That only made him remember that he was alone. Freddie broke down, his gasps quickly turning into sobs, the mounting stress he’d been carrying on his shoulders finally crashing down. He put his face in his hands, his palms getting wet with tears instantly. Freddie let himself weep openly. He was completely alone, right? It wasn’t like he had to hide this from anyone.

He couldn’t stop shaking. He hated thinking of boarding school so much, but his brain betrayed him in sleep. It wasn’t fair.

However, the part about Brian was new. He never dreamt of him before, and fucking hell, it was awful. He tried to tell himself that it was just a dream and Brian would never be that cruel, but the end of the dream was ringing in his ears.

_ “How could I ever want someone like you?” _

It was true. Even if Brian never said that directly, it had to be how he felt. He would never want someone as maladjusted and juvenile as Freddie. He was always mature, ever since the days of Smile when Freddie first saw him and he hadn’t been the same since. He had hung around Smile like a laughable little obsessed fan, and it was a wonder Brian and Roger became friends with him at all. Would they have done so if they knew how desperate for companionship Freddie was?

And here he was, crying so much that he was irritating his stupid throat.

A sharp knock on the door made Freddie jump.

“Freddie?” Brian called.

Freddie’s heart ached. He was a mess right now, but he didn’t know why Brian was there and didn’t want to ignore him in case something was wrong. He quickly wiped his face as much as he could with the sheets. His hands were shaking, but if he kept them behind his back, maybe Brian wouldn’t notice.

He got out of bed and forced his face to be as neutral as possible, although a quick glance at himself in the mirror revealed the redness of his eyes.

Another knock. “Freddie?”

He opened the door. “What’s wrong, darling?” His voice was steady. A small victory.

The dim lights of the hallway were highlighting Brian’s hair. He was in his pajamas, a baggy pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. His brow was furrowed. “I’m okay, but are you?”

Freddie squeezed his hands behind his back. “Yes, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He hesitated for a moment, looking around the hall for a second. Confirming they were alone, he said, “You know my room’s right next to yours, right? The walls are rather thin, and...”

His blood ran cold.  _ Oh, shit.  _ He woke Brian up with his crying. Humiliation stung hotly at his cheeks. He had a knack for playing things off and getting out of situations, but he couldn’t deny what Brian heard.

As he thought this, Brian’s expression grew more troubled when he took in Freddie’s face. “Jesus, Fred, are you all right? Seriously, what happened?” he asked, voice rising a little.

The last thing Freddie wanted was for anyone to wake up and find out about this, so he pulled Brian into his room and shut the door. “Shh! You’ll wake the others.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, Brian. It was nothing and I didn’t think anyone could hear.”

He was no less concerned. “That didn’t sound like nothing.”

Freddie shook his head. “I was just being stupid. Nothing bad happened, if that’s what you’re worried about. I can assure you I’m not injured or anything. No one died. It’s not a big deal.”

“But I’d still like to know…” He trailed off, glancing down. “Freddie, you’re shaking,” he noticed with a nervous uptick to his voice.

He’d forgotten to hide his hands after closing the door. Great, now he was upsetting poor Brian. Freddie put his hands behind him again. “Just nerves.”

“About what?” he pressed. 

Freddie remembered his nightmare, and had to look away from Brian’s face. He couldn’t say it. Brian would laugh at him or be disgusted or—

Brian took hold of one of his hands. “Freddie?” he asked gently. “Please.”

Freddie had been so very depressed lately and missed Brian something awful, and having his love hold his hand and care about his well-being made his walls crumble. He ducked his head, hoping his bangs covered his stinging eyes. How much should he say? “It’s this fucking room,” he muttered. “I can’t sleep alone in this sardine can. It reminds me of bloody boarding school.” He tried to make his tone sound more aggravated than upset, but he wasn’t sure he succeeded. His eyes were downcast and on the brown carpet. He felt Brian’s hand twitch in his.

“Is it the room, or sleeping alone?” Brian asked carefully. “Because we’re no strangers to shitty rooms.”

The stinging in his eyes got worse. He hated this, but he couldn’t change the conversation abruptly, couldn’t run when there was nowhere to hide. He bit his lower lip hard, but that just showed off his big, ugly teeth, and he covered his mouth with his free hand in shame.

There was a small intake of breath from Brian.

Freddie felt horribly shy, like he did the first time he met Brian and Roger. His heart was on his sleeve now and he felt like he couldn’t take it back. If only he’d cried quieter.

Brian grasped his chin, but Freddie refused to look at him. “Hey,” he said gently. “Won’t you look at me?”

He shook his head, his chest heavy. Brian was being so kind to him. It was surely only temporary.

Brian sighed, but didn’t try to push him. “Freddie, you’re really this upset over being by yourself?”

There it was. He shuddered. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, removing his hand from his mouth. He didn’t dare to lift his gaze. 

“And you live on your own now,” Brian continued, his voice fading into a mumble. He moved both of his hands to grip his shoulders in a loose grasp. “Is that what’s been bothering you lately?”

So he had noticed, after all. Of course he did. Brian was no dummy. Freddie nodded. “It can get so lonely,” he finally revealed in a shaky voice. He didn’t want to look at him, but staring at the carpet the whole time only made him feel more like a child, so he finally lifted his chin.

What he saw was not mockery or displeasure, or even pity. Brian looked _ guilty.  _

Freddie blinked in surprise, which accidentally shed a tear from the corner of his left eye. He startled when he felt the moisture on his cheek.

Brian’s face fell and he pulled Freddie into a hug. “Oh, Fred, I’m sorry,” he said, and he sounded genuinely distressed. He wasn’t being facetious. He was serious.

It was the complete opposite of the image his mind concocted in his nightmare, and Freddie’s fragile heart couldn’t do anything but give in to Brian. He was trembling again and he buried his face into Brian’s shoulder, the fabric of the T-shirt soft against his skin. He always wished he was a little taller, and he felt especially small here in Brian’s arms. Yet, he wasn’t annoyed by his height now. He was being completely enveloped by Brian’s long arms, and the loneliness of those restless nights in his flat had him hunching his shoulders and curling into his embrace more, his hands folded between their chests. 

“I’ve missed you,” Freddie confessed meekly, because really, there was no point in holding any of it in now.

Brian’s lips were close to his ear. “I’ve missed you, too,” his voice rumbled, his words easing the raw ache in Freddie’s chest. “I’m sorry you’ve been so sad.”

He shook his head automatically. “I shouldn’t be. I should be able to do this.”

Brian was the one to shake his head, his curls bouncing. “I might not have  _ as  _ much of a problem being alone, but I don’t really like it, either. You know me. It’s not good for me to be alone with my thoughts.”

Freddie couldn’t keep the confusion out of his voice. “But you said you wanted to move?”

“I thought it was the ‘adult’ thing to do, you know? And my dad was getting on me about building a more stable life. He’d like to see me living on my own and with a science career.” A warm huff of laughter near his ear. “I can give him one of those things, at least.”

Freddie was reeling. Brian didn’t want to live alone, either? It wasn’t just him? He was so caught up in his own pain that he hadn’t considered that, nor the impact living alone would have on Brian’s depression. “Have you been depressed, darling?” he asked softly.

His shoulders moved up and down with a sigh. He didn’t let go of Freddie. “Somewhat,” he admitted in a mumble.

How self-absorbed Freddie had been! “Brian, you should have said something!”

Brian pulled back to look at him, but kept Freddie in his arms. The look on his face said it all.

Freddie shrunk into his arms. “That’s different,” he said sheepishly.

Brian raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me that way.”

He had mercy on him and gave his shoulders a little squeeze. “You said it’s like boarding school? You don’t talk about your childhood that much.”

Freddie lowered his eyes to his chest. “I don’t think Mum and Dad intended to fuck me up by sending me to a different country when I was a child, but here we are,” he said dryly.

“I can imagine,” he said sympathetically. “Want to talk about it more?”

Freddie felt badly that he had woken Brian up with his crying and was now keeping him awake longer, and told him as much.

“Nonsense,” Brian told him. “As if keeping me up is new for you,” he said with a little smile.

Freddie laughed softly. God, how he needed his support. He let his words wash over him like a gentle breeze. 

Brian let go of him and then sat on the bed. He patted the spot next to him.

Freddie swallowed hard, feeling emotional (as if he hadn’t been since he woke up).  _ He’s not angry at you. He’s your friend. He would never have reacted any other way.  _ He sat down next to him, heart beating hard. It was quiet in the small room in the middle of the night, and the dim, yellow glow from the lamp made Brian look even softer in his large T-shirt and with his fluffy curls, untouched by hair products for now.

Freddie looked away, his face warming. Sometimes, it really hit him how beautiful Brian was. Actually, now that he spent several months away from him, how did Freddie ever deal with the cuteness of a sleepy Brian? 

Brian knocked their shoulders together. “Penny for your thoughts.”

He licked his lips, feeling a little shy again. There was a part of Freddie desperate to hear that people cared about him. “Did you really miss me?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah,” he replied, looking at him fondly. “It’s not fun without you.”

It wasn’t  _ without you and Roger and John. _ Just him. “You know I’m a bore during the day,” he joked. 

“I like your quieter side,” he said. “Like now.”

Freddie curled his toes into the carpet happily. Already, it felt like old times when they’d talk at night, and a weight was slowly lifting off his shoulders. “You’re only flattering me to make me feel better.”

“Is it working?”

Freddie shoved his elbow into his side playfully, letting himself smile with teeth when Brian laughed.

He calmed down. “I meant it earlier. Do you wanna talk about it? I don’t mean to embarrass you, but you sounded really upset.”

Freddie blushed despite himself. “Can’t we forget about that?”

“We can in the morning,” he pushed back.

Freddie sighed, leaning their shoulders together. How could he summarize years of loneliness and fear of abandonment? “If I’d gone to school in Zanzibar where my family was,” he spoke slowly, “perhaps I wouldn’t be this way. But I can’t seem to shake this. I truly hate living alone, or even being in a hotel room alone, apparently. Maybe I’ll get over it one day, but for now.” He picked idly at his nail polish. “Well, you heard.” It was actually sort of liberating to tell someone this.

“Did you ever tell your parents about this?” he asked.

He laughed without humor. “Oh, no, and I probably never will. It’s pointless. Ancient history.” It couldn’t be undone, anyway. There wouldn’t be any point to bringing this up with his parents. Besides, he didn’t think they meant any harm, for what that was worth.

“But its impact isn’t,” Brian said, not trying to start an argument, but still privately shaken over the heartbreaking sound of Freddie’s anguish. 

“I suppose you’re right,” he conceded, rubbing his fingertips together. He didn’t say anything for a moment, letting the silence of the hotel at this hour sink in. He swallowed, and idly noted his throat felt okay. It was stress, after all. He was stumbling and faltering for months, but all it took was Brian to spend time with him for ten minutes for Freddie to feel more like himself again. Human connection did him well, and he yearned it for as long as he could remember. Ending up with no one by his side was his worst fear, and his lips began to move before he thought much of it.

“Sometimes, I lie awake at night and fear I’ll be alone forever,” he murmured. “That’s a fate worse than death, I say.”

Brian had been listening intently, and his kind eyes turned sad. “You won’t be,” he said. “Alone, I mean. You can charm anyone.”

Freddie’s mouth twisted to the side. “Charms only work for so long, darling.” His worst insecurities were rising to the surface. “Someone could easily grow tired of me eventually.”

Brian pressed his lips together. He held his gaze. “I won’t,” he said after a long pause.

Freddie wasn’t sure what to say. His heart fluttered, and he was in love with him even more. It was bubbling in his chest, and he stared down at their feet. “You say that now,” he dismissed reflexively.

“You know how stubborn I am,” he murmured. “I don’t think I’ll change my mind about this.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, fighting a timid grin. He wanted to hear more, but hesitated to ask.

Brian wrapped an arm around him, gathering him close.

Freddie held back a whimper, and the urge to climb into his lap and bury his face into his chest. Tonight was the most Brian ever touched him, and he wanted more. 

“D’you want me to stay here tonight?” Brian asked.

Freddie shut his eyes against his rising blush. He had been exposed too much tonight to maintain any resistance. He nodded silently.

Brian rubbed his thumb against his shoulder. “All right,” he breathed.

“Thank you,” Freddie whispered and opened his eyes. With Brian’s arm around him, they were close, and he felt safe. “This is very nice of you, Bri.”

Brian shook his head, their faces so close that their noses nearly brushed. “You think too much of me. Like I said, I’ve missed you, too.”

A small, pleased smile tugged up his lips. “Are you saying that staying here is selfish of you?”

“In a way,” he smiled back.

“Then you’re a selfish bugger.”

They chuckled quietly. They gazed at each other, their faces probably closer than they’d ever been.

Brian blinked slowly, his long lashes fluttering. A light shade of pink dusted his cheeks.

Freddie watched his blush rise with curiosity, and a little spark of something else. Was it excitement, or hope? He didn’t know. But Brian had reacted far better than he imagined. He didn’t think he missed their living together, as well. Did Brian like him more than he thought? That was too much to hope for...right? 

Brian’s gaze was turning warm and tender, in a way he never directed at him before. Or, maybe he did, but Freddie never noticed until now.

“Brian?” he breathed.

“Yes?” he said, voice as equally breathless.

On any other night, maybe, if there had been no nightmares, or hugs, or heart-to-hearts, or if Brian’s face weren’t so close, Freddie would have been able to catch up with what his brain was saying before it left his lips. As things were, he said, “Don’t leave me anymore.”

Brian released a harsh breath out his mouth and then captured his lips in a kiss.

It should have been shocking, and in a way it was (since when did Brian like men, too???), but Freddie had been ready to be kissed by Brian May since the moment they met. He wasn’t going to ruin this moment of a dream coming true. Freddie kissed back, breathing hard, heart fluttering as fast as a bird’s. He tangled a hand into Brian’s hair, something he’d wanted to do just about every day. Brian let out a little moan into his mouth, and Freddie definitely wanted to explore if tugging his hair turned him on  _ later.  _ As much as Freddie loved fucking, something told him tonight wouldn’t be the right time. Literally, too--it must have been near three in the morning by now. Aside from that, the kiss was deep, but gentle. Brian opened his mouth and closed his lips over Freddie’s plump bottom lip, teasing by sucking slightly. Freddie sucked his upper lip, all of the misery from earlier draining from him. Their tongues met, and Brian, his arm still around him, pulled him even closer. His tongue was hot and wet against his and tasted of mint toothpaste, and Freddie felt so alive.

Their kissing ended gradually, although it was prolonged by multiple small, sweet kisses, like neither of them could get enough of the other. 

They pulled back, and Brian’s eyes remained closed for a moment. When he opened them, his pupils were blown wide. “I’m not leaving you,” he whispered. “We can talk more about it later, but I need you, Freddie,” he said, voice unsteady. “Sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, but don’t cry anymore. Please.”

Freddie did feel like he was going to cry again, but for completely different reasons. He never actually cried from happiness before. He hid his eyes by kissing Brian for another minute. He had so much to say, so many words of love flowing through his mind, but when the kiss ended, Freddie blurted out a joke. “What if you’d heard Roger or Deacy crying? Would you have snogged them, too?” 

Brian’s eyes widened and he laughed loudly. “No!”

Freddie laughed, wiggling happily in his embrace. “You never know,” he said mischievously.

“I do know,” he giggled. “It’s just you, Freddie.”

Freddie smiled wide, feeling like he could literally jump for joy on the bed. “Good.” Actually, speaking of the bed, he looked down and realized just how small it was. And Brian said he’d stay the night. Oh, this could be fun, couldn’t it?

Brian raised an eyebrow. “What’s that look, hm?”

He smirked. “You said you’d stay, yes? Well,” he put his hand down on the mattress. “This isn’t the biggest bed in the world, darling. We might have to get nice and close,” he raised his eyebrows up and down playfully.

He chuckled lowly, his eyes twinkling. “Seems like it.”

Freddie’s smirk faded slightly. “I hate to be this way, but I do mean we should actually go to sleep now. I’m afraid crying hasn’t left me in the mood to suck your cock, dear.”

Brian snorted. “That’s fine. Besides,” he said, his gaze trailing down his body, “I’d like to do it properly and take my time with you.”

Well. Freddie wasn’t expecting him to have a dirty mouth. What a nice surprise. He shivered. “Tomorrow night?” he asked hopefully.

Brian kissed his cheek. “I look forward to it.”

They smiled and took each other in for a moment before deciding to get into bed. They laughed as their limbs awkwardly tangled and shuffled together, because really, the bed was too small for two grown men, especially for Brian’s long giraffe legs. But they managed with Brian on his back and Freddie lying half on top of him, his head on his chest. He closed his eyes with a relaxed sigh, Brian’s heartbeat beneath his ear. He hadn’t felt so peaceful in such a long time. 

Brian reached over and turned off the lamp, and wrapped his arm around Freddie’s back. “Goodnight, baby. Hope you sleep better now.”

_ Baby.  _ Freddie cuddled into his side. “I will,” he said blissfully. Not thinking of it, he said, “I’ll have your sleep-talking to help again.”

Brian stiffened beneath him. “What? I don’t do that.”

Freddie held in a giggle. Sometimes he’d mumble random syllables, sometimes full words, but rarely full sentences. Freddie remembered one of the few times he did. He took a moment to think of the wording, and quoted, “‘The maximum intensity of the zodiacal light is greater than the brightest parts of the Milky Way.’”

“Huh? How do you know that?” Brian asked, befuddled and faintly alarmed. 

Freddie couldn’t stop from giggling now. “You told me one time in your sleep, silly.”

Brian was silent for a pregnant pause, and then he grumbled and turned his face away. “Go the fuck to sleep, Fred,” he muttered in embarrassment.

Freddie planted a kiss to his chest and obediently closed his eyes. He’d save more teasing for later. For now, well, he had a beautiful man sharing his bed. What more could he want?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't intended to write a second part! But someone suggested it, and then someone else suggested smut, and I definitely haven't written these two having sex enough ;) So enjoy~

Freddie was rejuvenated. How could he not be, when the love of his life kissed him last night? He wanted to break out in song right in the hotel lobby. Brian had to sneak back to his room in the early morning before anyone saw him leaving Freddie’s room, but he’d pressed a kiss to his forehead and promised he would be back in his room tonight. Freddie was practically giddy with anticipation, because he’d spent a rather absurd amount of time fantasizing about having sex with Brian, and those fantasies only increased once he moved out and didn’t have to worry about getting hard around him. 

Roger noticed his good mood. “Hey,” he smiled. “You look better today. Is your throat okay?”

“I feel absolutely _marvelous,_ darling,” he said honestly. “I feel ready to take on the world tonight.”

“Great,” Roger’s smile widened. “Will you come out with us to party after the concert?”

He felt Brian’s eyes on him. “To be honest, you probably won’t see me tonight because I have every intention to get fucked as soon as possible,” he said with a sly smile.

Brian inhaled sharply.

Roger didn’t notice his reaction and snorted. “You’re _definitely_ in better spirits, then.”

“Most certainly.” He turned around, only to see John staring at him with an inscrutable expression. His smile dropped. “What?”

John shook his head. “Nothing, Nothing.”

Whatever, Freddie wouldn’t dwell on it. He couldn’t wait for tonight, and decided he quite liked that little reaction he got from Brian in the lobby. He wanted more, because the idea that _he_ could have an effect on Brian was irresistible. He may have been timid at other times, but he became a different person on stage, and felt comfortable around Brian—so why couldn’t he mess around with him on stage?

Maybe Freddie was being a _little_ bit of a brat, but he put on a show that night as much for Brian as he did for the audience. He wore his white leotard that only had thin straps on his shoulders, leaving most of his back and chest exposed. The tight material clung to his body, showcasing the curves of his calves and arse and leaving little to the imagination. 

Then Roger had to ruin the mood backstage by saying, “You’re wearing your Kermit outfit again?”

Freddie pouted. “It only looks like that when there’s green lighting!”

John deadpanned, “Ribbit.”

He glared at them as they laughed, and shot daggers especially at Brian. “It’s supposed to be sexy!” Freddie protested.

“Muppets are very sexy,” Brian taunted with a smirk.

Now, that wouldn’t do.

So Freddie made a point of leaning against Brian and sharing a microphone with him more than usual during the concert, trying to rile him up without outright grinding against him. He sang with all of the confidence in the world, strutting around the stage and letting a strap fall past his shoulder. At the end of the show, when he was given flowers from backstage to throw out to the audience, he dropped a couple. Freddie made a show of bending over right in front of Brian, arse in the air, to pick them up. He didn’t even turn around to look at him for a reaction—just blew kisses to the audience and waltzed off stage.

They had all chosen a large dressing room to get ready together, so everyone was around and buzzing with post-show excitement as they changed out of their sweaty stage clothes, which meant that Brian had to bite his tongue and act like nothing happened, but the pink flush on his cheeks told Freddie that his little game worked. He felt better than he had in months, and any other night he would have loved to go out and party with Roger, but nothing was going to stop him from being with Brian tonight. Had he ever looked forward to sex this much before? He didn’t know, and it almost startled him to think that he didn’t actually care whether or not Brian was good at sex. Freddie just wanted to be with him, and share his company all through the night. (But he still hoped the sex would be good.)

Freddie was wiping eyeliner off his skin in the mirror when he saw Brian approaching him in the reflection. 

His mouth was in a straight line, just a smidgen too tight to look neutral. “Will you be off soon?” he asked. He raised a thin eyebrow. “To ‘get fucked,’ as you put it earlier?”

Freddie paused for a second, and then cleaned the eyeliner from his other eye. “Of course, dear.” He was looking in the mirror, and through the reflection he could see no one was paying attention to them. “I assume you’ll find some hot piece of arse to squeeze tonight.” Was he really flirting with Brian? He was really flirting with Brian. It was invigorating. 

Brian hummed. “Oh yeah, probably.” He lowered his voice. “You go first,” he said. “I’ll catch up with you. Can’t be seen following you.”

Freddie nodded silently. Damn, they hadn’t even talked about telling the others. _Should_ they tell them? If not, how long could they realistically hide this? This wasn’t the time or place to think about it now. He cleaned off the last of his makeup and gathered his jacket, winking to the others not to wait up for him.

“Tell me all the details later!” Roger called after him.

Freddie lingered in the doorway for a second to see red rise to Brian’s cheeks, and as he turned, he heard John ask, “Um, Brian? You okay?”

* * *

Once Freddie was alone in his hotel room, the nerves set in. A voice in his head sneered that Brian would change his mind and not show up, or he was going to be disappointed by Freddie and break things off, but he pushed them away. He distracted himself by getting ready. He packed lube, because there was no way he wasn’t going to get laid during the entire tour, and he put it in the drawer of the small bedside table. He had wiped off sweat from the concert, but an extra dollop of cologne wouldn’t hurt. He changed into a robe that hung on a hook on the bathroom door. It was provided by the hotel and wasn’t the plush quality Freddie would have liked, but it would do. He didn’t want time to be wasted by Brian having to take off all his clothes, but maybe being naked upon Brian’s return would be a little much for their first time. Their second time might be another story. He still wore his pants underneath the robe, and fussed with his long hair in the mirror. It felt silly, getting ready for his friend when they used to share a room and Brian saw him when he looked like a mess in the mornings.

Freddie’s heart leapt when there was a knock on his door. He skipped over and opened it with a grin. “Hello, dearie.”

Brian responded by coming in, closing the door, and kissing Freddie hard. 

He inhaled sharply through his nose and kissed back, placing his hands on the sides of his face to steady himself. 

Brian backed him up against the wall. He parted his lips, and coaxed Freddie’s mouth open with the tip of his tongue swiping across the seam of his lips. Freddie opened his mouth, letting Brian’s tongue dip into his mouth. He wrapped his arms around his neck, craning his face upwards more. Last night on the bed, they were at equal height, but Brian was looming over him now. Freddie gasped when a warm hand slipped into the opening of his robe and fingers splayed across his chest.

Brian broke the kiss to stare at him with hunger. “You tease,” he accused in a whisper. “You knew exactly what you were doing tonight.”

Freddie was certain Brian could feel how fast his heart was beating. He smiled triumphantly. “Of course I did. Why?” he put on a fake frown. “Were you bothered, Brian? Were you distracted tonight?” 

Brian silenced him with a searing kiss. Freddie let himself get lost in the feeling of their lips melding together, the sensation of Brian’s warm breath on his face as they kissed for what felt like several minutes, but Freddie really couldn’t tell. Just tonight thousands were screaming for them and adrenaline rushed through their veins, but now they were alone in this little room, their bandmates and crew away, and the only sounds that filled their ears now were not of roaring instruments and squealing fans, but wet sounds from their mouths. Brian’s hand smoothed over his chest, thumb brushing over a nipple. His long, calloused forefinger circled back around and started to rub against the sensitive bud as he kissed him deeply. Freddie’s cock twitched beneath the robe, his nipple growing hard from Brian’s finger, and why didn’t he have those lovely, long fingers on his body ages ago? They kissed deeply, Freddie sucking at his bottom lip lightly, and arousal began to drip into his abdomen in earnest when his nipple began to feel a little over-sensitive. He whined, and Brian’s hand stopped and settled over his heart. Then, he slotted his knee in between Freddie’s legs, pressing up against him and ending their kiss to mouth at the side of his neck. 

Freddie’s mouth fell open when Brian started to press open-mouthed kisses to his neck. It felt good, and he got harder with Brian’s thigh pressed against his bollocks. He had a hand tangled in the curls now, holding his head close to his neck. Freddie bit his bottom lip to suppress a groan when kisses turned into nips against his neck, which were then soothed by hot swipes of his tongue.

Brian lifted his head, his lips swollen. “Bed?” he rasped.

Freddie nodded, mouth agape.

As much as Brian came in and kissed him hard and fast, things shifted when they were on the bed.

Freddie was on his back, and Brian was kneeling over him, his knees on either side of Freddie’s slender hips. His hazel eyes held heat, but something soft, too, that made Freddie blink up at him, because he didn’t know if anyone looked at him quite like this during foreplay before. 

Brian brushed bangs away from his forehead and kissed him softly. “You look incredible,” he whispered against his lips. He stroked his cheek. “You did on stage, but here, you’re mine.”

Freddie didn’t anticipate just how much he’d love being the subject of Brian’s desires, even with years of fantasies. The confidence he had on stage was gone now, and he didn’t know what to say.

Brian looked at him with a slight furrow to his brow. “You all right, baby?” There was the pet name again, completely common, and yet uniquely lovely from Brian’s lips and in his gentle voice. 

Freddie shivered and nodded. “Perfectly fine.”

He kissed his cheek. “Just making sure.” He toyed with the belt around the robe, making it come undone. He opened up the robe and looked down at Freddie’s body, from his chest to the tent in his pants, and Brian looked him in the eye and said, “You’re so lovely.”

Freddie pressed his lips together tightly. This amount of praise made his heart feel too big for his chest. He never had a real partner before, so the men in his previous sexual encounters had been nice but casual, or used him for a quick fuck while barely looking at him. He never had someone he genuinely loved looking at him like this, like he was something beautiful. He never wanted to lose this. _Don’t leave me again, please._ Freddie’s eyes rolled back when Brian started palming him through his briefs. He lifted his hips up, but another hand pinned him down. He opened his eyes with a glare.

Brian was amused, nearly smug. “Impatient, Fred?” he asked lightly.

Freddie was going to retort, but Brian’s thumb ran over his tip just right, and whatever witty reply he had died in his throat. Fuck, he had big hands. “Don’t be a bore, dear,” he got out.

Brian’s thumb circled around his tip and his fingers were able to reach down and fondle his bollocks. “You don’t look bored,” he said, mirth in his eyes. He licked his lips. “I feel you getting wet for me.”

Freddie tried to cant his hips up again, but there was Brian’s hand pushing him down on the mattress again.

“Should’ve known you’d be impatient,” Brian said, but then his face grew serious and his hands stilled. “You’re still okay, right?” he asked suddenly.

Of course Brian would be as caring as he was horny. Freddie should have anticipated this. He sighed harshly and his hips squirmed. “I’m fine, Brian, but _why_ are your clothes still on?” He was feeling vulnerable and didn’t like being the only one almost naked.

Brian grinned. “Good question.” He got to removing his buttoned shirt and black trousers, and Freddie took the opportunity to slip his arms out of his robe, so now he was only in his briefs. He watched Brian undress with interest, and his eyes ran over Brian’s body, from his long legs and pale thighs to his thin chest. His cock strained against the confines of his pants, and his aroused blush went from his cheeks down to his chest.

Now that he was almost fully undressed, Brian’s smile was crooked and awkward, and he shrunk in on himself, as he usually did when he tried to appear smaller. “Not what you imagined, eh?”

Freddie sat up and kissed him hard on the mouth. “Don’t be so ridiculous, darling!” he scolded. It was much easier to bestow genuine compliments on others than it was to receive them--the former didn’t make him want to hide his face as he blushed hard--and gushing over Brian was practically a hobby of his. “I shan’t have my handsome guitarist talk about himself so.”

His smile was small, but genuine. “You flirt.”

“Yes, but I speak the truth.”

“No, you liar,” he said playfully, and kissed him again, smiling against his lips.

“Never,” Freddie mumbled. He matched his smile, which made kissing a little difficult, but that was okay. As their kissing progressed, however, the smiles faded from their lips and their hands roamed over each other’s bodies. They shared long, sucking, open-mouthed kisses until their lips felt numb and their jaws ached, but Freddie felt like he was in paradise. Brian was palming him through his pants again, and this time he allowed Freddie to buck into his hand. Freddie couldn’t just sit there and do nothing, so he reached into Brian’s pants and took him in his hand, meeting hot skin. Brian let out a small groan, and Freddie drowned out the sound with his mouth, because _god,_ Brian May groaning was the sexiest sound he ever heard.

“What do you want to do, Freddie?” Brian asked, his eyes dark and hazy.

Freddie felt slickness against his hand, and he bit his lip. If they didn’t start soon, neither might last. “I’ve got lube. I want you to fuck me.”

Brian’s eyes widened, and he let go of him. “You were serious?”

Freddie let go of him, too, not sure what to make of his tone. “...Yes? Is that a problem?” he asked, feeling self-conscious.

“No!” he quickly shook his head. “No, um, I just…” He looked down. “You’re my first man,” he said hesitantly, “and this isn’t something a lot of girls want to do.” He sounded a little embarrassed, but then he looked up. “Promise you’ll tell me if I hurt you.”

Would he ever get used to Brian caring for him? No, probably not. Freddie looked him in the eye and nodded. “I promise, Bri.” He gave a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve done this plenty of times. Not to worry.”

Brian placed a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth anyway. “If you’re sure, then let me make you feel good, sweetheart,” he whispered.

Freddie’s chest _melted_ into goo and he stifled his whine by kissing Brian. The pet name played over and over in his head as long fingers worked him open. Freddie was fully hard and leaking. He bit his knuckle, trying to hold back more whines as Brian kissed the side of his face, neck, and the shell of his ear. Brian was murmuring how beautiful he was into his skin, how _special_ he was to him, and now that Freddie knew what it was like to be with him, he never wanted this to end. For god’s sake, he loved Brian so much and he didn’t know if he’d be able to handle this fragile, new relationship ending. _Don’t leave me, don’t leave me._ Freddie kept his eyes closed as he was stretched open with careful fingers, because he couldn’t make eye contact while Brian was saying such nice things about him. Then, he cried out when pleasure burst within him.

“What’d I do?” Brian asked.

“Prostate,” Freddie stopped biting his knuckle to look at him.

He looked interested. “Huh, really?”

Freddie was far too hard to have any patience left. “Now’s not the time for a bloody science lesson, Brian!” he snapped. “Fucking hell, get _in_ me already.”

Brian removed his fingers, breathing heavily from arousal. “Okay. The bed’s small. We need to coordinate.”

“How?” he asked breathlessly.

“Get in my lap.”

Freddie moaned in agreement, and after a bit of shuffling, Brian was sitting up against the headboard. His large hands gripped Freddie’s hips as he sunk down onto his long, hard cock, slick with precome and lube. Freddie gasped and Brian groaned loudly, his fingers digging into his hips, surely creating bruises. His cock felt huge from this angle, filling Freddie up, and he spent a moment getting used to it, clenching and unclenching around him. He looked at Brian, whose fringe was sticking to his forehead from sweat, and his kiss-swollen mouth was open with exhales. He was gazing at Freddie with something like possession in his eyes, but something tender like adoration, too. Just the sight of Brian so aroused made another wave of pleasure swirl in Freddie’s pelvis. He held onto Brian’s shoulders for support and started rocking, or else he would have gone crazy.

“Ready?” Brian asked.

“I’ve been ready,” he said petulantly.

With that, Brian raised his knees, his thighs behind Freddie, and began to thrust into him. His thrusts were steady and deep, and Freddie dug his nails into his pale skin. It felt so good, hard enough to satisfy him but not to make him uncomfortable, and he couldn’t stop the moans that spilled from him. It was really hitting him that it was _Brian_ who was inside of him, one of his best friends, his love, and Freddie was always in danger of falling too hard and too fast, but he’d passed that point so long ago and he couldn’t handle this. All of the sex he’d had before didn’t compare to this--how could it, when this was his bloody _bandmate?_

Freddie felt prickling at the corners of his eyes, so he quickly hid his face in Brian’s neck, his moans turning into whimpers. He pressed sloppy kisses against his neck, because he needed to be good for Brian and show him he loved him, even if he was afraid to say it (because what if he’d leave?).

Brian moved his hands from his hips to wrap his arms around his back, supporting and embracing Freddie as he shook in his arms. His heavy breathing was turning into grunts, his thrusts becoming faster. His thighs shook minutely behind Freddie, and he nuzzled into his black hair. “You feel good?” he asked, voice rough and low. 

Freddie nodded, panting. He tried to hide his face more, but then his face was being lifted and cupped by a hand, forcing their eyes to meet. Brian’s brow was furrowed up in pleasure, looking like he was losing more and more control by the second, moaning even as he bit his lower lip to muffle it. 

“Brian,” Freddie whined, feeling so hard it practically hurt. Heat pooled in his bollocks. He was drunk on ecstasy, his body burning with desire, but he needed more. His breaths were coming in gasps now, and the bed creaked under them.

Brian kissed his mouth gently, so gently, despite the hard thrusts of his hips into the tight heat. His thumb caressed Freddie’s cheek. “You’re amazing,” he told him. “You make me feel--” He broke off his sentence with a hiss, and swallowed to take hold of his breathing. “I never imagined it’d be this good. I-I need, _fuck,_ I need you.”

“Brian!” Freddie sobbed, clawing into his shoulders and trembling. “Oh god, Brian. Touch me, please, I’m so close.” He shouted when Brian’s hand moved from his face to wrap around his cock. It only took a few strokes up his length to push Freddie over the edge. His cock spurted over their abdomens and chests, and he vaguely registered Brian’s arm tightening around his waist and his thrusts becoming erratic. Brian held him through his orgasm, or tried to, but then the force of his climax took over and he threw his head back with a long moan. If Freddie weren’t a wreck, he would have loved to watch Brian come, but as he was, he collapsed against his sweaty chest.

Brian pulled out of him and his legs straightened out on the bed, but because the mattress was so narrow, one long leg hung off the edge. He held Freddie close, catching his breath and kissing the top of his head.

Freddie heard and felt Brian’s heart hammering beneath his ear. His body still trembled with the aftershocks of his climax. He refused to move, even with the mess between their stomachs, because he absolutely needed to be held right now. _Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave me._ A few minutes passed with the sound of their breathing slowly evening out and fading, leaving silence to settle into the room. Sweat cooled on their skin, and Brian’s heartbeat slowed back to normal.

“Fred?” Brian whispered. “Are you awake?”

Freddie nodded. He opened his eyes, bringing his hand up to curl next to his mouth on Brian’s chest. He looked up at him.

Brian kissed his forehead. “D’you need anything?” he asked, keeping his voice low.

He couldn’t keep it in anymore. “Stay with me,” he pleaded, and felt ashamed that the words actually came out. He squeezed his eyes shut. “I mean.” His emotions were raw and he couldn’t hold them back no matter how hard he tried after Brian worshipped his body. If he was going to say it all, he should look Brian in the eye like an adult, so he lifted himself up on an elbow and looked into his perturbed eyes. “I mean after the tour is over. Let’s live together again.” He pressed his lips together for a moment, his heart beating hard. “I want you with me, Brian.”

Brian opened his mouth, and then closed it, his eyes big. He wrapped his arms around Freddie’s waist and sat them both up to kiss him. He pulled back, their faces close. “Freddie,” he said, his tone pained. “You’re my friend. We’re in a band together. I wouldn’t do this if I weren’t serious about this. You’re too important to me for this to be casual.”

Freddie blinked, the tightness in his chest disintegrating. He looked down, remembering that the misery and insecurity he felt last night from the nightmare was unfounded. He was letting his insecurities get to him again. “I’m being stupid again, aren’t I?” he muttered.

“Not stupid,” Brian moved his hair away from his face. He was frowning. “You...I’m not like other people in your life,” he said quietly. “I’m not going to abandon you.”

Freddie pressed their foreheads together and breathed in deeply. Although he was naked and the sweat on his body had cooled, he felt warm all over. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Brian shushed him, the pursing of his lips ghosting over Freddie’s mouth. He nuzzled their noses together. “C’mon. You put on a great show tonight. You need your rest.”

He smiled. “You, too.” Feeling better, he teased, “If I’d known what it was like to be fingered by a guitarist, we would’ve done this _ages_ ago.”

Brian chuckled. _“There_ you are,” he said fondly.

They cleaned themselves off with the hotel robe and tossed it on the floor. They settled into the bed with Brian spooning him from behind, an arm wrapped loosely around his torso. He used his free hand to pet Freddie’s hair.

Freddie’s eyes felt heavy, and if he could purr, he would have. “Tell me, darling, are you always so affectionate after sex?” he asked lazily.

“Only when I could tell the person likes it,” he countered.

Freddie reached backwards and kicked him under the covers.

“Do that again, and I’ll fall out of bed,” he warned.

His eyes slipped shut, the feeling of fingers in his hair turning him into butter. “Deacy’ll have to get us bigger beds next time,” he mumbled.

Brian sighed behind him. “Are we gonna tell the others?”

“Ask me again when I’m more awake,” Freddie said, cuddling into his pillow. The thought of telling Roger and John about them made him nervous and he didn’t want to think about it right now, but he truly felt like he was going to fall asleep any second.

As if reading his mind, Brian yawned and gave him a little squeeze. “Okay. G’night.”

Freddie hummed sleepily, and they were both asleep within a minute.

Little did they know that John had returned to the hotel early and walked by their door to hear Freddie crying out Brian’s name. John had suspected something was going on between them earlier today, so he simply walked past their room and made a mental note to only arrange three hotel rooms for the four of them next time.

And to book his room _far_ away from theirs, in case they were that loud every time they shagged.

**Author's Note:**

> Was this mess of fluff coherent? Hope so! You can find me on tumblr under the same username :)


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